let's get physical.

I love panties. I really do. Some girls love their shoes, others love their handbags... I love my panty collection. I have a few sexy ones but the ones that make me happiest are all of the bright, colorful ones in every possible style, cut and pattern. Every morning, it's my ritual to go through the drawer and see which pair calls out to me that day and I let that be the first smile of the day. (I know, I'm kind of goofy, but this works for me.) If today it's the lacey thong, I put on my favorite dress and tights and take the extra time to look sexy today. If it's the pair of light blue and pink plaid boyshorts, today is a day for sneakers, shorts and a cute top. You get the picture. There's nothing inertly sexual about my underwear obsession, I just like them.

I typically shop at Aerie by American Eagle or PINK by Victoria's Secret. Their collections are right up my alley, but lately I've been looking to add more brands to my panty family. So I did what any curious person would do... I googled "cute panties". I expected to see some cute little mini-businesses pop up with people making and selling panties as a hobby for some extra cash. I was ready to browse through forum answers full of different places like-minded people buy their fun undergarments from. Obviously, these expectations were innocent... and consequently, foolish. The first result site that popped up was for what appeared to be girls my age selling underwear that they make - bingo! I get to the site though, and realize that these ladies are in fact selling photos of themselves in the underwear. I hit back and skimmed the next few result and was disgusted that they were all for porn.

See, this is what gets me. I love panties... in a totally normal, unperverted way. I want to find other people that share this love and find out where they buy theirs... spread the love, you know. But this world, especially this country, is so obsessed with sex that it becomes revolting. Everything on TV is meant to have sexual innuendos. Movies are full of it. Half the ads out there are sexual in nature, as are the majority of the songs on the radio. And sexuality isn't what I have a problem with. I have a problem with the fact that if I choose to live my life not numbly feeding my sex drive, I should be allowed to do so without being bombarded by it.

Let's get personal here; I enjoy sex. When my boyfriend and I have sex, I let that be a time when I can really just sit back for a second and relax and feel better. Although it's unbelievable when it happens, sex for me was never about the Big O. Sex should just be about feeling good and sharing that amazing feeling with someone you care about. The end. Sex shouldn't be so casual, so out-in-the-open; sex needs to be viewed with respect, something that two mature people participate in when their feelings are in the right places, not just because they wanna hump until they get off.

I've only had sex with two guys and I know that for most people, that means I don't get how complicated sex and sexuality are. Maybe I don't. But I do know that the way we, as a society and culture, view sex is backwards and twisted to perversion. Cut the crap - there's more to life than fucking, no matter how much you may like it.

So I have to ask and be prepared for disappointment: is there any hope? If I wanted to raise my kids in this world, is there any chance that I can teach them a healthy view of sex and sexual relationships or is the rest of the world gonna undermine what I have to say and brainwash them anyways? Am I the only one who thinks sex itself is awesome but the way everyone acts about it is flawed? Or perhaps, if any of you wanna tackle this one, am I the one who views sex in the wrong light and need to not take it as so wholesome?